Haiku #12516

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haiku #12516

when you are away
I fall into bed and sleep
perchance to dream of you

© RebekkaSanchez2016

Written with Haiku Horizons.

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9 thoughts on “Haiku #12516

  1. This is a good effort.. Doesn’t matter about an extra syllable . and it must be oversight.. . In any case, make the last line as : ” dreams filled with you.. ” and it becomes technically also correct… RS:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good haiku isn’t required to be strictly 5,7,5 so once and awhile I let an extra syllable stay. My friend’s who are expert haiku writers poke fun at the 5,7,5 rule yet I like to try and use it myself.

      I like it as is because of the angst of maybe not being able to dream of that person even though they want to. I do like your suggestion. Thanks so much!

      Like

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